I’ve just discovered that at the weekend my old BMW motorbike dribbled rather a lot of petrol over one of my shoes. The shoes appear to be undamaged but the stuff stinks. I pointed this out to the Four Year Old and said it was a nuisance. He didn’t agree with me. ‘Not a nuisance, Papa, a problem’. I wasn’t going to argue with the FYO over semantics and I admitted that it was both a nuisance and a problem. He told me in all seriousness that I needed a petrol getter-outer. I asked him what that was and he explained in some detail that it had two long handles and when you pull them together it gets out all the petrol. I wondered if there was a commercial use for such a device but decided that only stupid people allow their shoes to become soaked in petrol and they probably wouldn’t think to buy one.